Dear Joe,

It has been ten years since I met this guy who turned my world upside down. I was twelve then and very infatuated with him. He was good looking and intelligent and the way he took care of his family made my feelings grow deeper each day. During those times, I never had the idea that he had the same feelings for me. One day, something happened that made me mad at him. We started to build a wall between us and never had the chance to know each other more. We went on living our separate lives and our communication was cut-off.

Eight years later, just when I thought that I was doing well with my life, fate turned on me again. My old crush and I bumped into each other and we eventually became friends. Time and experience change him a lot. It was amazing to see that the guy I used to love and eventually hated turned out to be such a desirable young man. Upon seeing him again, I realized that I still cared for him and was still in love with him. Every time I hear his name, see him smile and hear his voice I feel so “kilig”. He fills every bit of emptiness in me but something hinders me to show my true feelings for him. He has been going steady with his girlfriend for three years. I knew from the start that he was committed but I didn’t seem to care. We spent time together and it felt so good, so right. He made me feel so special through his simple ways. I fell for him even more.

One day, he confessed his true feelings for me. I found out that he did love me since we were just kids. I saw the sincerity in his eyes. I felt that he still loves me but we tried to deny our emotions because we didn’t want to betray his girlfriend. It was difficult to fight the feeling. Nevertheless, I told him that I will wait for him until he becomes free and that my hopeful heart will never give up. Joe, he didn’t want me to wait. He wanted me to find my own happiness that a committed person like him could not give. He didn’t want to hurt me that's why he did not promise anything. He wanted me to be happy even if I was not with him. His truthfulness made me admire and love him more. He was very much different from other guys I knew. It hurt me Joe every time he pushed me away to other guys.

In spite of the complicated situation, we continued this special thing we had. We even had so many "stolen moments" where we spent time together as lovers. Those days were the happiest days of my life. But I got the surprise of my life when two days before his wedding, he told me that he was getting married. He got his real girlfriend pregnant and the girl obliged him to marry her. It was very painful Joe. What I thought to be only a dream was a nightmare. I was half dead during their wedding.
Now I am standing alone with a lost soul, an empty heart and a shattered life. I am still trying to face a new life without him. I am still in pain, Joe that I cry every time I remember him. Why did he come back after eight long years and make me fall in love if we were not really meant for each other? And that he would just break my heart in the end? Joe, this is a story without a happy ending. I still imagine that someday, if not here on earth, nut maybe in God’s paradise, there will be a place for the two of us. Thank you for reading this Joe. It made me feel a lot better!

Sincerely,
Missy