Dear Joe,

I am a 30 year old woman who currently lives and works somewhere here in Europe. I have a 10 year old boy from my previous relationship, he now lives and being looked after by my mom. My prevous relatioship didn't work out as my ex is an irresponsible, insensitive, abusive(physically and verbally) and a womanizer. It's not an exaggeration, he really is like that and I've had enough of it and broke up with him when I learned that he went out with his ex-girlfriend, while I'm abroad, sacrificing for my son's welfare because he's such an irresponsible father. We still talk and I still help him occasionally and then 3 years ago, I paid for all his expenses so he can work in the UAE so he could help me with our son's expenses, but instead, he got another girl pregnant. We're not married, which I am very pleased. I am free and I had my sweet escape.

It was December 2009 when I saw this person who has been my crush way back in high school. He is 1 year level ahead of me, he's intelligent and good looking, he's all I've ever dreamed of. He's an Engineer working in a Power plant in Batangas. He invited me to be his friend in this famous Social Networking Site. I accepted his invitation. It was a day before my birthday when he first sent me a message greeting me a happy birthday and that he's hoping I'll have a great day. I was at work then. I find it really sweet coz when I checked his profile, I learned that it was his birthday that day and when greeted me. So I replied saying how I felt about him being so kindly sending me a birthday message on his very own birthday and that I find it cool that he is just few hours older than me. And our conversation went on and on. I didn't tell him about my son, I thought this internet thing is not going anywhere, so it's none of his business. He's been single for almost 3 years, didn't even dated anyone. Later on, we exchanged numbers, I enjoyed exchanging messages with him. He's very caring. He became a good friend whom I can share my experiences and hang ups in life. Then we decided to see each other online via SKYPE. I was nervous, it will be our first time to see and converse with each other. That day, I prayed and ask for a sign, that if this is the right man for me, he should be wearing white. I was astonished to see him, he's still good looking, still my ideal man, and I was amazed to see him wearing a plain white Hanes T-shirt. I smiled and giggled when I saw him. He asked me why but I said nothing, I just got excited to finally see him.

Days went on, messages continued and we're Video calling through Skype every night. It was a lot of sacrifices for both of us. Everyday, we are learning a lot about each other and learning that we are quite similar in many ways and we share the same views on what we want in our future. Not hearing about him for hours makes me miss him. One time, he mentioned that he'll wait for me until I decided to come back, no matter long it is. I think we're falling in love. Then one night, we we're having a good laugh and then suddenly I asked him why he'll wait for me when I didn't ask him to...then he said he loves me. That day marked the beginning of our relationship.

It marked the beginning of my torment as well. I didn't know how I'm going to tell him about my son. I was scared he might not accept me and my son, I'm scared of losing him because I'm loving him more and more each day. I may sound silly but I never thought I'd be loving someone I haven't been with before. But I did and it's more than what I've felt before in my previous relationship. Then the day came when I've decided I can't hide anything from him anymore. I told him everything and I was crying, he cried too. I told him, I'm not expecting him to accept me and that he can think as long as he want before he makes a decision and I won't call, or send him messages until he tells me he has finally made a decision. I don't want to cloud nor influence him in making his decision. I cried all day, he knew I've been crying for hours and he couldn't bear it. I couldn't bear not seeing him either. He decided to call me and tell me to calm myself down. He said it's ok to see and talk on Skype, that wouldn't affect his decision. Later did I learned that he accepted me that same day, but it took him a week to finally make a decision that he'll stick to me no matter what. It took him a week because he said, he doesn't want to make any decision that he's not sure of. Because when he's decided about something, he'll stand up to it and no one can stop him. He said he'll give me the happy ending I really deserve. I felt blessed and lucky. He's my last chance, he's God-sent. He's what every woman dreamt of. He's very understanding. He cheers me up when I'm sad. He became my rock. We talk about future and family. I've met his family online and he once bumped into my family and my son in the mall. I guess our family's opinion isn't that important anymore coz we're both mature, but luckily, his family is nice though he haven't told them about my son yet. One thing I'm worried about. But he assures me that his family can't stop him from doing what he wants, and that is loving me.

I told him, last year that I'll be going back in September 2010 for good. He's really hoping I would. It's less than 4 months from now and I am having a second thought. I know he's true to his feelings for me, we've sacrificed a lot as well and I know I love him so much that I don't know what I'll do if I lose him, but my family said I should stay here because life in the Philippines is very hard and that most Filipinos are willing pay just to go abroad. But this is not the life I wanted, I don't want to be alone. 5 years of spending Christmas alone is enough. I miss my son so much but it's his good future that is at stake because I'm not sure if I'll still be able to renew my visa to come back as the immigration policy in where I am is changing and getting stricter every time immigration issues occur. And I'm not sure what kind of life is waiting for me back home. My boyfriend is my last chance but my son is my responsibility. I always ask myself is it worth the risk? Writing down Pro's and Cons isn't helping. Maybe your advise could.

Thank you very much for taking interest in and finding time to read my letter. I'm hoping to hear from you soon. Your advise is very much needed. Take care, God bless and more power.

Peaches