Dear Joe,

I am 25 years old, and even at my age, I am still clueless about handling a lasting relationship.
My story began a few months ago when I got hooked into chatting and met Ed. He wasn’t really into chatting, but just tried one morning at the office. I don’t know what came into my head but I sent him a different picture -- a picture of a pretty Thai girl that I got from the Internet. I am not ugly but just don’t have enough confidence, I guess. It all started as a joke, a mistake that put me into a lot of trouble. Ed fell for the girl in the picture. I didn’t mind at first because I thought that ours was just a simple, harmless chat. Besides, I had a boyfriend who was in their province for the time being. But it all backfired.

After the first chat, he often emailed me and left offline messages. When he finally caught me online, he asked for my mobile number and called me that same night. He seemed like a very interesting and smart person. Ed became my regular text mate, chat buddy and phone pal. I learned a lot about him and I told him a lot about myself too, but not the truth about the picture. I wasn’t ready yet to tell him. I enjoyed his being in my life and later on, fell for him like any girl would. He was matured, smart, sweet and good looking too! I knew he was the one I have been looking for.
Joe, we became a couple in the net. He wanted to meet me, but I couldn’t because I knew he expected to see the pretty girl in the picture. I thought of all possible excuses not to meet him which he accepted. We went on like this for a month but it didn’t affect our relationship. He continued being the perfect boyfriend which made me fall for him more.

My best friend constantly reminded me to tell Ed the truth but I was just too scared of loosing him. I often asked him what he really liked about me. At first he was just attracted to "my" picture. When he got to know me better, he realized that I was smart, sweet and kind. Joe, he somewhat fell for the real me… but it will always fall back to the picture. He would never had really taken time to know me better if the picture didn’t attract him first. That thought always hurt.
One day I realized that our relationship which was founded by a lie will never succeed. I decided to slowly avoid him. I was admittedly a coward. But he was planning of letting me go too and was the first one to tell me so. He didn’t see any future with us and was discouraged by our distance (he was from Quezon City and I from the south). Joe, I was really hurt. I wanted to get even so I made another mistake and made things worse by telling him that I was getting married and that I only fooled him. Now, he no longer answers my calls and emails. No matter how much I say sorry, he will never give me his forgiveness.

I feel really lost right now. I miss Ed a lot and I know it was entirely my fault. I had the chance of finding the perfect man for me, but I let him slip away. I can only cry and regret what I have done.
Joe, I hope my story will be a lesson to all. Be brave and be yourselves. You’ll never know whom you will meet. The person you are fooling could be the person you have been waiting for.
To Ed, I am still asking for your forgiveness. I am really sorry. But I want you to know that I really loved you.

Thank you very much Joe,
Cessylle